Brucey B, Capara, and Princess Fernypoo had just sneaked into a giant statue of a kachsphinx, following a group of mutant Grundos led by you must know who and accompanied by a scarred Cheat!-playing Jetsam and Sailor Chia. There were torches flickering on the walls; you have to wonder who bothered to keep them lit.

The Grundos weren't paying attention to much of anything, so they aren't a very good comparison to make, but Dr. Sloth was definitely looking for something. As the group approached a door, Sloth pulled out the gold coin and fitted it into the image next to the door. It opened...

There was so much gold inside that room that it shone almost without the light of the torches.

The purple Jetsam and Sailor Chia lost no time in exploring the heaps of gold coins, bars, and dishes; the Jetsam started jumping up and down after he'd donned a gold jeweled tiara, several bracelets, a necklace, and multiple tail and fin rings. Sailor Chia quickly ordered the Grundos to start carrying out as much gold as they could carry. Sloth, on the other hand...

He was sifting through the piles of gold, searching. 

Shoyru and four other Sailor NeoPets - Lupe, Zafara, Usul and Acara - were hiding behind one of the paws of the kachsphinx statue, watching Brucey B and his friends walk through the open door under its stone chin. They'd followed Brucey this far, and the mutant Grundo guarding (but not doing a very good job, considering it'd missed the pets entirely) was an indication that Dr. Sloth just might be involved.

"We don't have many other options," admitted Sailor Lupe. Night was descending fast; they couldn't exactly sleep in the sand. So they tiptoed in, admiring all of the pretty pictures on the wall. Several resembled PetPets from the Peophin's stall.

Sailor Acara, who was in front, stopped short when she realized that she was about to trip over a sleeping Capara. Quick examination revealed that Capara's companions were with her, also snoozing away. "They must be exhausted," Sailor Zafara murmured. "After all, they walked the whole way here."

"So?" asked Sailor Usul, a bit too loudly.

"Sh!" Lupe grabbed Usul's arm and dragged her around a corner, the other girls following. They ducked out of sight as Fernypoo stirred, then woke up. The other two pets were soon awake also, and they stood and began tiptoeing quietly down the corridor. Lupe and the other senshi snuck even more quietly after them.

"What's that light?" whispered Shoyru.

"Torches!" Zafara hissed back.

"What are torches doing here? More to the point, what are they doing lit?"

"Don't ask me," Kaen whispered. "Magic, perhaps."

"Somebody had the ability Magic Torch," Leslie observed.

Laughter started echoing down the hallway.

'Where have I heard that laugh before?' Leslie wondered. Then a deeper laugh joined the higher giggle. 'Of course! That's Abbie. But who's the one with the deep voice?'

Coming a little closer, the angle shifted enough so that they could see a black staff with a purple-tongued green cobra face on the top. A hand was holding that staff...an arm was supporting that hand...a body was attatched to that arm...a head was on that body. The head was decidedly familiar.

It would seem that Brucey recognized that head also. Unfortunately, he decided to scream. "AAAGH IT's SLOTH! RUN FOR IT!" he shrieked, dashing away at full speed with the lady pets close behind.

"Oh, shut up," Dr. Sloth snapped. "I've got the staff. We'll have no problem now." He began striding menacingly down the corridor, holding the crackling cobra-headed staff out in front of him.

Capara backed up against the wall. "I want my mummy..." she whimpered as a bolt of white-yellow light shot from the staff and hit her. Seconds later, a Wadjet crouched hissing on the hall floor. It had a huge thick red hairdo. "Hisssss..."

Princess Fernypoo fell back against another wall and screamed as she was hit. Within an instant a deformed dark green scaly monster, apparently a Mutant Acara, was in her dress and crown, mumbling, "Ger...mumph..."

Now THAT's just WRONG, Sailor Zafara thought.

Sailor Lupe made a split-second decision. "Attack!" she exclaimed, jumping into full view of Dr. Sloth. "Lupe Lunge!"

Sloth was so startled he didn't fire, and was shoved back by the pair of Lupe paws. "Shoyru, get the pets out of here!" Lupe yelled. "Zafara, Acara, Usul, help me!"

"Zafara Flame!"

"Acara Tumble!"

"Usul Bite!"

Sailor Shoyru grabbed Brucey and the mutant Acara, handed the Wadjet formerly known as Capara to Fernypoo, and ran.

"Chia Giggle!" A familiar piercing giggle echoed painfully loudly through the corridor, and orange energy shot at the three soldiers. "Pathetic," Sailor Chia said as she passed Dr. Sloth, who had fallen over. He wasn't sure if she meant the soldiers or him, and suspected that was what she'd intended.

"Zafara, Acara, run to the next bend while Usul and I cover for you. Then start firing while we run," Lupe directed. "Lupe Lunge!"

"Usul Rage! Usul Bite!" Sailors Zafara and Acara ran.

Not long afterwards, the clatter of boots on floor ceased, and Sailor Lupe had to dodge the Zafara Flame that shot at her. "Watch where you're aiming!" Sailor Usul shouted as she and Lupe turned and ran, dodging their comrades' attacks.

In this manner the soldiers made it all the way down the corridors and out of the kachsphinx. Sailor Shoyru was waiting for them. "Brucey's explained everything to me," she told them. "I'll outline it for you, without all the moaning and groaning. That coin Brucey had shifts luck; it helped him win the championships. Then he lost it in a game with some rather shady-looking characters, including the Jetsam who was rolling in the gold back there. So his friends - Capara here, and Princess Fernypoo - offered to help him go get it back. They ended up here (I'm not quite sure how) and saw the Jetsam, so they followed him into the pyramid. And of course, we followed them."

"I see," Lupe said appraisingly.

Acara groaned. "It's too late..."

"What's too late?" asked Zafara quickly.

"No, no, I mean I'm tired. It's too late to be up, much less be up and fighting."

"Well, we can't fall asleep out here," Lupe pointed out. "Sailor Chia would find us in an instant."

"Excuse me..." said Brucey B slowly. They all turned to look at him. "Um, isn't Dr. Sloth a bigger concern than one of your friends?"

"Sailor Chia isn't one of our friends. She works with Dr. Sloth. And she's probably our biggest concern at the moment," Lupe explained.

To make a long story short, Brucey and company ended up parting ways with the sailors, who trudged wearily back to Sakhmet and rented a few tents for the night.

"I've got my sister," Zelda replied.

"And I have my parents and brothers," Ji added.

"And my Dad," Kami pointed out.

"So it's just you three?" Leslie asked wryly. The other girls quickly confirmed this.

"Okay. Ji, transform and fly Zelda back to Neopia Central. Reassure your families. Then come back here as soon as possible. Bring FirePrinse."

"And my Acaras!" Kami added.

"Bring my Usul," Brooke put in.

"Gotcha. I'll bring Zaffie too," Zelda agreed. "Sure you'll be okay?"

Leslie grinned. "It's only an army of robots and tons of Grundos large enough to keep all of the city in check. How hard could it be? By the way, get Melony too. She'd hate to miss all the action."

"Just get ready," Zelda said. "Ji's gone to touch base with her family, and I've said hi to my sister. Once you've done the same, we need to get going."

"Got it." Five minutes later, Sailor Moehog was transformed and ready to go. Or was she?

"Um...Melony? What happened to your uniform?" asked Sailor Shoyru warily.

"Like it? I made it myself." Sailor Moehog twirled to show off the knee-length skirt, small-sleeved shirt with bows on the sleeves, shoes that looked like Moehog hooves, and elbow gloves.

"But are you in Sailor Moehog form or not?" Sailor Zafara demanded.

"Oh, yeah. I just transformed and then changed clothes."

"Ah. Shoyru, can you get us all back to the Lost Desert?"

Shoyru looked around at the eight assorted pets and two senshi. "My wings can take it...but I don't know if my arms can..."

"Just try!" Zafara pressed.

"Okay, okay! Shoyru Hover!"

"Lupe Lunge!"

"Usul Bite!"

"Acara Tumble!"

Kaen added a blast of Earth energy to the attacks.

Four Grundos were out of commision for the day.

"Who's that?" a Lupe whispered to an Aisha as the Sailor NeoPets delivered another round of attacks.

"Beats me," the Aisha replied as more attacks were hurled into the troops.

Within ten minutes the soldiers and faerie were exhausted, but about a third of the troops were nearly finished off. Unfortunately, it wasn't nearly enough; the rest had broken down the wall and stormed into the city, followed by Dr. Sloth and his new toy.

Sailor Chia, who had been waiting for the girls to tire out, chose this time to step in. "Hello, fellow soldiers," she said cheerily. "Ready to die? Because ready or not, here it comes."

"I don't think so!" The girls' gazes focused behind Sailor Chia, where a thoroughly exhausted Sailor Shoyru had just landed carrying far too large a load. She hadn't shouted; Sailor Moehog had. "I'm Sailor Moehog, and I'm here to protect my pals!"

Sailor Chia gave Moehog a skewed glace. "What did you do to your CLOTHES?" she asked with an air of incredulity.

"That does it. Sailor Chia doesn't like 'em; they must look good," Sailor Moehog laughed. "Moehog Kick!"

Sailor Zafara pulled out the Sakasa Mist and drank it in a hurry, then added, "Zafara Ice!"

"Chia Chaos Ruin!"

The attacks collided, but thanks to the superior power of the Zafara Ice, they canceled each other out. Sailor Moehog's Battledome pet, Moehog374, jumped up and attacked. He was suddenly countered, however, by EvilChia888. FirePrinse and My_Lil_Zaffie ran to help EvilChia, who had pulled out a Rod of Dark Nova. Each pulled out a Small Metal Shield and they managed to deflect most of the attack.

"How long can you hold out?" Sailor Chia asked them. "I'm betting five minutes. Any takers?"

"Look!" exclaimed Fiery_Acara_ suddenly, pointing across the sand. A large cluster of people was approaching over the horizon. As it grew closer, the pets and sailors could see that it was lots of pets...all equipped for battle and led by Brucey B.

"Here comes our backup!" SparkleAcara exclaimed happily.

"See those Grundos?" Brucey yelled. "Those are the enemy! Everybody pick one and start battling! The results will be added to your one-player scores!"

"How long can YOU hold out?" Sailor Zafara laughed. "Or rather, your army?"

"Wait!" Sailor Shoyru exclaimed suddenly. "Those are all the pets from the Pound! We can't let them all be killed!"

"Hey!" came a shout from a Kyrii who had just beaten one of the troopers. "What's going on?" For the collapsed Grundo was shrinking, and changing color from dull green to a bright cheery yellow.

"They're changing back!" Acara observed.

"Of course. Did you think I'd let that strength be used against us?" Sailor Chia demanded. "Their intelligence is going back to normal too. But don't worry - we've got a ton more in reserve, along with lots of REAL Grundos for a total of twenty thousand." She turned and began skipping away.

Against all odds, one of the pets from the Pound, once she had been satiated with Tchea Fruits and Corn Pyramids donated by the Fruit Machine, turned out to be none other than...

"Shoylana!" exclaimed Sailor Shoyru.

The yellow Shoyru blinked. "Do I know thee?" she asked mildly.

"Yes! You're _Shoylana_, the pet I created!"

"Why - it is certainly possible - yes, I recognize thee! Ji! Thou hast returned for me!" Shoylana exclaimed, delighted. She flew up into Shoyru's arms. "Dost thou have a username now?"

"No, not yet, but as Sailor Shoyru I bet I could get one! My mom would never know it was me!"

So, as the last of the Evil Sloth Clones was being demolished, Sailor Shoyru registered as _sailor_shoyru_ and officially adopted Shoylana. She also ended up getting another pet that had been abandoned: Bilbo_23 the cheery green Blumaroo. Leslie also ended up with one of the pets: Unirus2000, a sweet pink Uni.

Of course, it wasn't over yet...

Dr. Sloth walked in. "Don't touch that!" he snapped.

"Oh? Why not?" With that, Sailor Chia walked over to the window and pointed the staff out. "I could cause lots of mischief with this."

"Don't!" Sloth yelled, charging forward as a bolt of yellow-white energy spat out and landed on the sand. He stared helplessly out the window as the sand began to buck and heave, and a huge mound rose up under several battles.

"Now, see? That's much better than anything you've tried so far."

"Hmph." Sloth knew better to admit that she was right. He had to keep some semblance of the upper hand. "Give it back and don't touch it again."

Sailor Chia was more than happy to comply. After all, how could she be bored when her new creation was winning against dozens of NeoPets every minute?

"So we find a pet and join their fight," Sailor Shoyru said. "What's so hard about that?"

"But the win will count for that pet," pointed out Sailor Lupe. "We need to make sure that pet deserves it."

"Oh, hang the ethics, we need to stop that creature!" snapped Sailor Moehog.

"I could try," offered Moehog374.

They all looked at him. "Saaaay," Lupe murmured, "there's an idea! You're a Battledome pet. You've got equipment and abilities and you need wins for your record. Moehog - I mean Sailor Moehog - do you mind?"

"Not at all! He'd love it, wouldn't you Moe?"

"I'll give you some abilities," Kaen offered. "Magic Pebbles, Tough Skin, Magic Berries..."

"You can borrow my Small Metal Shield," FirePrinse added. "And here's a Juicy Elixir."

"I think...yes!" exclaimed Sailor Moehog, pulling something out of her dimensional pocket. "I still have that Red Scorchstone from the Grunka from my first fight!"

"You actually saved that?" asked Leslie incredulously.

"Yep. Lemme equip all that stuff...there we go. Come on, let's battle!"

Moehog374 and the sailors approached the Rock Beast. "Rock Beast, I challenge you!" yelled Moehog374 in true Pokemon style. The creature looked down with a hollow-sounding roar and raised one gigantic fist to smash the small green Moehog.

"Use your speed! And your Grand Lightning Beam, the shield, and Fierce Attack!"

Moe dodged and pulled out the Lightning Beam, while Sailor Moehog added, "Moehog Kick!"

"Lupe Lunge!"

"Acara Tumble!"

"Zafara Ice!"

"Usul Bite!"

Sailor Shoyru didn't bother with her attack, as it wouldn't do much good.

The Rock Beast stumbled; they had done more damage to it than it had done to Moehog374! Encouraged, Moe repeated his attack, and the soldiers added theirs. Then they did it all over again, Moe drinking the Juicy Elixir to keep the fight from ending.

Each attack was doing fifty health points of damage out of five thousand. "Just do this a hundred more times and we'll beat it!" Zafara yelled encouragingly.

"We can't keep this up; Moe can't hold out!" retorted Sailor Moehog.

"There is one thing we could try..." Kaen said doubtfully.

"What? What?" everyone demanded eagerly.

"Moe has the ability Magic Pebbles, which lets him move pebbles through the air. Couldn't he do the same with the rocks that make up the Rock Beast?"

"Sounds like it might work!" exclaimed Sailor Lupe. "Okay, Moe. Use Magic Pebbles to keep the Rock Beast from even touching you! Everybody...attack!"

It worked. Moe used Magic Pebbles to dump the Rock Beast on its head, and although it reformed every time it was broken up, it didn't have the energy to defend itself after doing so. The sailors only took twenty minutes to take its health points down to twelve. "Moe, would you like to do the honors?" Sailor Acara asked.

"Sure! Magic Pebbles, Grand Lightning Beam, Small Metal Shield!" The lightning beam hit the beast hard, and it was pulled apart by the Magic Pebbles, doing eight damage. Moe invoked the Red Scorchstone, restoring his health to full, then repeated his attack.

The Rock Beast fell apart for the last time and shattered to bits, dissolving into sand.

"I don't have your stupid coin!" Sailor Chia shrieked. "Careful!" But it was too late; Brucey had slammed into her, knocking the cobra-headed staff from her hand. It fell to the floor and shattered.

In an implosion of green light all the transformed pets were back to normal.

"I never want to see another Wadjet for as long as I live!" wailed Capara.

"Yahoo! I'm my beautiful self again!" cheered Fernypoo.

"Nooooo! Do you know what Sloth is going to DO to me?" wailed Sailor Chia. "You made me break his favorite staff! He's going to kill me! I'll get you for this, you stupid penguin, I'll get you!"

"Is there a problem?" asked Dr. Sloth, walking in. It took him about three seconds to assess the situation. "I'll talk to you later, Chia," he snapped, pushing a button on his wrist. The top of the tower they were in abruptly was knocked off by his purple spaceship. "Brucey, you've just gotten on her bad side, and I personally know how bad her good side is. I don't envy you," he said as the spaceship turned on its suction and they were pulled up into it.

The Sakhmet War was over!

"Can I see?" Unirus2000 trotted over. "Oh, you're right! They've rewritten the whole tower scene...and Brucey B is portrayed as the only hero of the war! Except for Moehog374, of course. He's in here!"

"At least somebody got credit," Leslie grumbled. "Well, that's the media for you. Come on, Unirus...have you ever played Cheat?"

And that's how the Sakhmet War REALLY happened.